Wacky Wednesday

Today Kayla's class celebrated Wacky Wednesday. Her teacher told the children that they could come to school dressed "wacky" and this is what we came up with:

Please note the whiskers we painted on her cheeks with liquid eyeliner! In case you are wondering here is what she was wearing: blue jeans, pink turtleneck, white tank top with hearts, white boa, pink toulle belt, pink toulle skirt, one pink sock, one sock with chicks and a pom-pom on the back, one lace-up sneaker, one velcro sneaker, and bunny ears! It took all morning to come up with and she was so please with the end result that we took a ton of pictures!

James has been doing really well. We have recently made some major changes to his diet and have seen some good changes. Not even close to done but working our way through the muck! We have taken out the enzymes and added a homeopathic protocol... Nothing to report yet.

John is cuter than cute. He is talking so much and I noticed tonight that when he runs his legs move with more fluidity. He looks much less drunk when he walks, too, YAY! He loves to give kisses and hugs and may be the most compliant and obedient of the three! For example, when I ask the twins to get their shoes on and wait by the front door, I often find only John sitting at the door with his sneakers... James and Kayla, on the other hand, are often reading books, playing with Barbies, playing with a Leapster or running in circles in the living room.

We finally got enough snow this winter to actually sled. It was the first time the twins had EVER gone sledding. Needless to say they had a BLAST!

Editorial Note

I have been a bit of a slacker when it comes to blogging ... so I am making an attempt to rectify that. I will be trying to back track and fill in the gaps where possible... please be patient and bear with me...

**Added Halloween pics and stuff...

BAM!!!

When Emeril first coined that saying (is it really a saying if it is only one word?) I am sure this is NOT what he had in mind...

I was making dinner as per the usual. Chicken was in the oven and roasting away... The cauliflower was chopped and rinsed... Then I remembered I had forgotten to put a little water in the bottom of the pan for the chicken. I got some water and opened the oven and BAM!!! Oh yeah, don't put cold liquids/solids in a blazing hot Pyrex dish!

I am pretty sure I am going to die about 5 years sooner after that incident.

Literally, as the water hit the dish it exploded. There were shards of glass all over the oven and embedded in the chicken and on the floor and... Thankfully no one was hurt. Except now I had about 45 minutes to come up with a new dinner plan. Not an easy task when you have multiple dietary restrictions to take into account. Can't order a pizza or Chinese. Can't go to McDonald's or Wendy's. So out came allllllll the leftovers (man, there were like 25 containers of food in the fridge). We made due but I was very sad... On a brighter note, my fridge is much lighter and there is more Rubbermaid in the drawer!

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Bed...

We were getting ready for bed last night. Things were going along as usual... until Dave went into John's room and found him sucking on the nozzle of a Purell pump bottle. Yup, you read that right. He snatched the bottle out of John's hand and proceeded to try to sweep any remnants out of his mouth. He then checked the back of the bottle and decided we needed to call Poison Control. I quickly realized we didn't know the number. (Bad parents, bad, bad parents!) So I called 911 figuring that had to be a close second. They proceed to tell me that they can connect me but first they want to confirm our address. (Ah, the wonders of modern technology... she already knew our address based on the number that I called from.) I was immediately on the line with PC explaining what had happened. Shirley (the very helpful employee from Poison Control) wanted to know how much we thought he may have ingested, what kinds of signs and symptoms John was exhibiting and then she explained that it was likely that he hadn't ingested all that much and that we should give him some juice and a snack. She did mention that we should watch him for the next half hour (yay, another late bedtime) to see if he starts to act "drunk". Like what I asked. She described drunk as swaggering walk, bumping into things and tripping over his own feet. Great! She just described what he does all day every day! So I promised to call back if we noticed anything funny and thanked her profusely at which point the 911 operator jumped to alert me to the fact that she had listened to the entire phone conversation and that she too would be available if I needed her. Woah, what service! I thanked her as well. We all went through the requisite info exchange: my name, John's name, address reconfirmation and another round of thank you's.

I got off the phone and poured John some juice and poured some cereal into a Snack Trap. We all went back to the "campfire" that Kayla had built where she was making everyone s'mores - of course James and John's had rice milk marshmallows she said. All of a sudden the door bell rings. Immediately I knew who was at the door. I open the door and standing on the stoop is a First Aid Squad member. He was responding to a call about a baby swallowing hand sanitizer. Ugh! He then informs us that dispatch thought the squad should follow up in person. He tells us that he lives about a hundred yards away and so he came over on foot but that a bus would be there shortly. Man, did I feel like a bad parent! He took a look at John and realized that he was really fine. He called dispatch and told them they didn't need to have an officer (yes, a police officer) dispatched. Double ugh! About a minute later lights start flashing and swirling up the street and an ambulance pulls up in front of the house. (The twins thought this was GREAT!) A second later an officer appears at the door! He too lives around the corner in the other direction and has a newborn so he felt he had to respond. Next came the Rescue member who had to take our official information and have us sign something saying that we refused medical attention.

So long, crazy story short... John is fine. We think he probably didn't eat much if any at all. On another note, it was a good feeling to know that our Emergency Responders have such a quick response time! Thank you to the Kendall Park First Aid Squad and Police Dept.

Light the Night

Lots of exciting pics to share from Halloween...

Here are some pics of Kayla's class:

Kayla as Super Girl!

Kayla with Super Man and Princess Presto.

Kayla being turned into a Mummy!

The finished product!
(Notice John waiting patiently in his stroller in the background.)

From here we raced over to James's school for his Halloween party:

James is Ultra Cool Buzz Lightyear!

Kayla and James enjoying some snacks.

John, once again, being a complete angel - although dressed as a Fire Fighter!

Buzz loves his teacher Mrs. Fech!

From there it was home to rest and then off to Calvary Chapel's Annual Light the Night...

The Minis with the Richter kiddos... didn't know they would be there!

John with Daddy.

John with Uncle Chad.

The R-Word

I have recently been made aware of some of the "finer" (please read with complete sarcasm) points of a new movie by Dreamworks that opened last week, Tropic Thunder. It astonishes me that in our world we still choose to use such ignorant and self-righteous terms. I won't even dignify the movie by using the word that is repeated over and over. I will say that it begins with the letter R.

Why is it that the N word has been inexcusable for years (don't get me wrong I completely agree with that social more), yet the R word is still encouraged as the thread on which so many jokes are spun? Someone recently referred to my son as R and I saw red for weeks. But I had to realize that this person is ignorant and obviously knows nothing about my son (even though she is family). My son at the age of 4 is reading at the 2nd grade level, has memorized all 50 states and their capitols and is teaching himself Spanish. Yes, he may not be able to have a coherent conversation but that's fine with me. I have learned so much more from him than from most adults.

I will admit that as a teenager I made jokes about these things. You know how funny we thought it was to joke about the length of the bus someone rode or the speed at which they could finish an assignment. But as an adult I have seen the error of my adolescent ways. And while I don't condone this behavior I can also see that this was a child's behavior and as children we need our parents and other trusted adults around to guide our actions. However, as adults (which is what I thought the people running Dreamworks are) we have a responsibility to use and promote informed and respectful speech. Just as a person cannot choose their ethnic background (and therefore should not be ridiculed or disrespected for it) so it is true for our disabled family, friends and neighbors. They did not choose to have these obstacles placed before them. (Though as a result they often work harder than you and I ever will.) Instead let us look up to them for not giving up in the face of trial and adversity, let us cheer them on and let us come along side to run the race with them.

Won't you join me and the millions of others that have already said I will not support such ignorance and bigotry. Tell others that you won't go see this movie and let Hollywood know that this ISN'T funny! You can click on the box to the right to let your voice be heard.

Summer Musings

John has recently received his first cell phone. In true 21st-century-kid form he, um, mastered the use of the phone quite quickly. Now if he could just get his aim right!

In other news I have been trying to grow things. My mom ordered some bulbs online and I planted them late in the season thinking I wouldn't see any blooms until next summer but...

I also think that I failed to mention that we had a new driveway and front sidewalk put in. When they were digging to put in the new asphalt they moved a bunch of dirt. We used some of that dirt to fill in some empty spots. After a couple of weeks we found that we had something that resembled a pumpkin or squash plant growing in the front beds. Well, after a few more weeks we now have lots of these... But after much searching I can't figure out exactly what kind of squash these are. Anyone know??? We have already picked 5 and have at least another dozen that will need to be picked soon...

Walking on Sunshine

The summer could not be any hotter. (Well, they could but then I would be in a puddle in the corner and wouldn't be able to write to y'all.) I also can't believe that it is already the end of July. Whoever said that the summer was a time to relax didn't have kids. Since school got out at the end of June we have: driven to Nashville and back, started back to school (for James), [I] led worship for VBS, had two sick boys, taken K to Gymnastics camp, celebrated at least a half dozen birthdays (with at least a half dozen more to go this summer), had Thanksgiving dinner in July... I am sure that I am forgetting something...

But I have yet to tell you about some of the more exciting things that have happened. About 2 weeks ago Dave and I met with a Nutritionist who specializes in ASD kids. She gave us a "plan" and we have embarked upon a new adventure. On Sunday we started enzymes with James. It has been 2 full days and he seems to be doing well. So I think tomorrow or Thursday we will go from the 1/2 dose he is taking now to the full dose. There is always the chance that these treatments will at first cause James to go "backwards" but the end result is almost always improvement.

Also, James will be attending a full day autism program in the fall where...wait for it, wait for it... THEY are going to potty train him. I know I couldn't believe it either when they told me. It isn't that Dave and I don't want to (alright maybe we don't want to) but its just that we aren't really sure HOW to. So I will keep you all up to speed on that as it progresses.

The other great news is that John has started walking. I don't mean that he holds on to the couch and walks around the living room perimeter. I mean he stands up and puts one foot in front of the other and takes a couple of steps and then falls on his butt. We have tried to get it on film but of course as soon as you turn on the camera all he wants to do is eat it! So we will try sneak some footage when possible and share.

I will leave you with 2 great pics. One is Kayla climbing the dugout pole in Nashville. The other is one that my Mom took of the boys. Enjoy!

Some recent pictures

I realized that I haven't uploaded pics in awhile so here you go...

Philly Zoo (May 15)...

As I'm sure most of you can imagine our little "Mary Lou" climbed her way to the top of anything she could swing her feet up on top of!

James loved the otters!

It was possibly the only time he was actually engaged in observing the animals...

But for the most part this is what he did all day!

And this is beautiful Olivia! Our friends Nicki and Adam brought her home from Guatemala and she couldn't be any more perfect!

Oh, yeah and then there was John. Could he be a more perfect baby?

He was an absolute angel the entire day!

Memorial Day at the Shore...

The happy 4 year olds!

The happy 9 month old!

The happy grandparents with the grandkids!

Birthday Bash, Gater Style

We have usually (the past 2 years) had the twins' birthday party on Memorial Day Weekend. It worked out because it was usually within a week after their actual birthday and having it on that Monday meant Saturday and Sunday to get the house and the yard ready. But the downside was that Memorial Day usually falls right after the rainy season and our yard was always really wet. (Not to mention all the family and friends who could never make it because they had family vacations that weekend.) So last year we resolved to move their birthday party to a later weekend.

Fast forward to this year... Who would have know that we would have a heat wave the first weekend in June? It's a really good thing that we had planned to have lots of water fun available. That is, of course, until our daughter and a few of her cohorts decided to dump sand from the sand table into the kiddy pool (!) at which point the water turned very dark and all the grossed out parents promptly pulled their kids out of the water. Couldn't have planned it better. Within a few minutes dinner was ready to be served. Whew!

Dinner... Well, in years past we have always grilled burgers and dogs. This always seemed easiest and most convenient. Except, Dave always spent like an hour grilling and sweating and basically not enjoying the party. So we decided that this year I would make something that could be made ahead in the slow cooker. Well, my math must be really bad because I ended up making enough pulled pork and BBQ beans for about 50 people. (There were maybe 18 adults and the kids all ate hot dogs.) I have no idea what happened. I do know however that I had 5 crock pots going and that could have been a mess had we lost power like so many others in NJ!

Everyone seemed to have a really good time. It was so great that Stephanie and Brian made the 3 hour trek with Luke and Shelby. We miss you guys and can't wait for you to move back to Jersey!

What always befuddles me though is present time. So, the twins know they are getting presents (I think they are born with this knowledge or something). When it came time to open I was kind of excited because there weren't so many that I had to actually keep notes on who gave what to whom. (Thanks Stephanie for the great idea of having just a kids party.) But the thing that always gets me is that they open a great present (for example, their new FP3 players which they absolutely love) but they can't really enjoy it yet because coming down the pike is another great gift. Then the madness ends and they are left amongst this haze of wrapping paper shreds, gift bags and clouds of tissue paper and no real idea of what they have been given. I always feel bad because no one knows if the kids actually liked their gifts because there isn't enough time to show genuine appreciation before the next gift is thrust into their hands to be opened. What to do?

We were exhausted when the night ended and are still really exhausted. But one more funny story to share before I am done. That night I was doing a little bit of clean up in the kitchen and Gran was holding John sitting in the kitchen chatting with me. Dave and Grandpop were outside bringing in all the chairs and tables onto the porch. At about 7:30 I realized that I hadn't heard or seen the twins in a LONG time (at least 20 minutes). I was a little concerned as this NEVER happens. I started looking in their bedrooms, "Kayla, James, where are you?" Then the living room and then the play room. This is where I found them. Sitting quietly (and I mean in absolute silence) side by side on the couch in the playroom listening to their "ipods" (as they call them). I have never been so happy in my whole life! (Okay, maybe that is a bit extreme, but you catch my drift.)

Thanks again to everyone who came and made this such a fun day for the Big J and Princess!

Blessings Abound!

Once again I have managed to be so overwhelmed this last month that I have neglected to share with all of you some of the cooler things that have been happening here in NJ.

John has been growing in leaps and bounds. Gosh, I think that it has been 3 weeks since John started crawling! I know that it was a Thursday does that help??? Let me tell you, he is a speed demon. He can cross the room in seconds and not 30 I'm talking like 5! He cracks up over everything - namely his brother and sister. A few days later he pulled himself up to standing. And you can see when he stands, the way he moves his feet, that he will be walking any day now! (A little history lesson here: Kayla walked at 9 1/2 months and James at 10 months. So given that John has pretty much developed in the same ways that they have I am guessing any day now John will just stand up and walk across the room!) Oh, and again in true Gater fashion John has gotten two more teeth (yes, at the same time).

Kayla must have mountain goat or monkey blood or something. Why? you ask. Well, because that child likes to climb on or hang from any and everything. Her goal seems to be to freak me out at every turn. This past weekend we went to the Shore for Memorial Day. Monday morning we took the kids to the playground at Sunset Park where they have a 10 or 12 foot rock wall for kids. I saw it and thought Kayla would love it. Then Dave tells me that he watched her do it already. So he climbs up the other side after James and I encourage Kayla to climb up to the top where her Daddy was standing. Well, not only did she not need any encouragement, she didn't need any help. She flew up that wall like she had been up that wall a hundred times.

James, James, James... where to start. His move to the 4 year old class back in February has been great for him. Being home "by himself" (John naps almost the entire time Kayla is at school) has allowed him to have quieter time to work on fine motor skills and play computer learning games that have challenged him in other ways. But something else has happened that is amazing. (Well, this is less about James and more for James.) At the end of April I had a meeting with his current teacher and case manager. They had one opinion and Dave and I had another. They thought that for the Fall he should stay in the classroom that he is currently in. We felt very strongly that this would be a bad idea. First, it is a class that he has already been "doing" for the past 3 months. Plus, all the kids moving up into the class would still be significantly younger than him (part of the problem and why we moved him out of the 3 year old class). So I called SPAN (Statewide Parent Advocacy Network) and they sent me a packet of information written by the NJ Dept of Education called Autism Program Quality Indicators that gave me a lot of information regarding what a high-quality program should be offering to students with Autism. However, this is not the LAW. So we prayed that they would see how these points will benefit James and his development and that they wouldn't be completely focused on their budget and what the administration might think.

So the meeting wasn't great but it wasn't awful either. They were pretty set on him staying where he is. I did however say some things that made the case manager write in her notebook furiously! I noticed that when I quoted the law they both looked a bit surprised. I was careful to not get defensive. But at the same time I stood our ground. One of the things that left me with a glimmer of hope was that the case manager agreed that she needed to talk to the Home Programming Coordinator who had come out more than two months prior to evaluate James at home.

We saw James's Developmental Pediatrician the last week in April and she had only glowing things to say about James. I mentioned to her the document by the Dept of Ed that talked about the recommended program for preschoolers with Autism. She told me that just after our last visit (Nov '07) the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) published a document saying the exact same things! So that was definitely her recommendation. (Finally the AAP recommendations are paying off for us!) On May 6, James's case manager called to let me know that she had observed James for about 45 minutes the day before and "observed several atypical behaviors." (DUH!) Then she said that the programming coordinator was going to be observing James that day at 2 pm. In short they are revisiting the idea of having James go to the full day class for "High Functioning ASD." Initially they thought that this class would not be a good fit for him because most if not all of the ASD kids in it are lower functioning than James BUT the morning half is an integrated class with other typical 4 year olds. So although we have some reservations (and they are very slight) about him picking up the "bad" behaviors of some of the other ASD kids in the class, the afternoon is primarily 1-on-1 ABA and so James would be working with a teacher in a semi-secluded environment. They can also adjust the "teaching" more specifically to meet James's goals. Plus this means he would be in-district (not bussed to a school as much as 30 minutes away) and still a part of the local community. So after the coordinator observed him his classroom teacher, case manager and program coordinator sat down and discussed what they saw.

The very next day the Autism Programming Coordinator called. She observed James and then spoke with James's classroom teacher and case manager and they are recommending that James go to the full-day high functioning class. It is integrated with other typical 4 year olds in the am and then more intensive instruction with just the ASD kids and 2-3 teachers in the pm. This is good news!!! One of the major pluses of this class is the highly individualized nature of the instruction. So James will have someone always directing him and keeping him focused so that he is less likely to be idle. (Idle time for James leads to excessive mouthing of his hands and other objects, babbling and baby talk, or visual and verbal self-stimulating, to name a few.)

The following week the coordinator came over to discuss the goals to be included in James's IEP for the Fall. I was expecting her to talk about things like holding a pencil and cutting with scissors. Instead she showed up with a print out of the curriculum goals for the combined K/1st grade Autistic class. She said that it didn't make sense, given James's academic level, to confine him to age appropriate goals.

Fast forward to today, the coordinator, Cindy, was here this morning to work with me and James. One of the first things that he did was begin reading to her. About half way through the story she said, "We will definitely have to include him in the K/1 class in the Fall." Huh? She repeated herself and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. So during the time of the day that makes me the most nervous (when the only students in his classroom will be the other ASD kids with potentially negative things fro James to pick up) occasionally James will be pulled out and included into the K/1 class!!! Can I get an AMEN?!?!

Basically our fears and stresses continue to be taken away. It's about time! There are other things to share like the potty training that Cindy wants to start soon and the sensory diet that she can't believe James doesn't already have. Ahhhh, I have actually felt the weight lifting off my shoulders recently and I have to admit that it feels good.

I will try to post some pics soon. Especially since Dave got some really great ones down the Shore.

Lessons From My Lemons and other News

I wanted to let you all know that I have embarked upon another writing project at: www.lessonsfrommylemons.blogspot.com. I won't spend much space telling you about it except to say that Super Mom will remain about the Minis whereas the new blog will be from my perspective and more about things that I experience.

In other news, I learned that Blogarithm was pretty much sucking not doing its job and folks were getting update emails for at least a day after I updated. Sooo, I have found another service that will do essentially the same thing. It is called Feedburner and I have placed on both blogs a link to get the updates delivered directly to your inbox.

Happy Reading!

So much has happened

AAAAHHHHH!

Where has the time gone? I turned around and it has been almost a month since I posted. So let's see what has happened in the last 4 weeks (in no particular order):

• John went from 2 teeth to 6 teeth in about 2 weeks;
• Dave and I went to the DAN! Conference and learned an awful lot of amazing info;
• James has almost completely stopped napping (let's pause for a moment of silence...);

I know, you're wondering what about Kayla??? What did she do this past month? Well, really there isn't much she isn't doing. She is our amazing blessing. She is so much more mature than her age. (Is that right? Dad, help me out with the grammar here.) She loves school and her teachers can't say enough about how wonderful she is. She wants very badly to read like her big brother and tries hard every day to read just a little more. She loves playing with John. She is so good at watching out for him and just the sight of her makes him light up like the Fourth of July fireworks.

In other news, John's first two teeth (on the bottom) came quite awhile ago. Like the twins they came pretty close together. The twins also got the rest of their teeth in pairs. This was great because they would teethe really bad for a few days and then have two more teeth. Well, John started getting really cranky and was drooling like a leaky faucet. Then they started coming. Now he has 4 teeth on the bottom and 2 on top and once again he is as happy as can be again!

A couple of weeks ago Dave and I spent 2 days straight up to our eyeballs in seminars and workshops about biomedical intervention designed to treat Autism. WOW is all I can say. We were completely unprepared for how much info it would be. But it really made an impression on both of us. We not only learned about the typical things you might expect (GFCF diets, vitamins and supplements) but also about toxins and other things that may have contaminated our possibly already compromised kiddos. We also learned about working to prevent harm to our next kiddos. Sooooo, we came home and threw out all of our Teflon coated pans, food storage containers, plastic plates and cups. In their place we purchased new Rubbermaid containers, started using our cast iron pots and pans more often and invested in Corelle plates and cups for the kiddos.

Yes, I know some of you don't completely understand the sadness I am feeling about James's abandonment of naps but I coveted that time when the twins (and sometimes John, too) would nap and the house would be quiet and the time would be mine. I am not trying to sound selfish but I REALLY need that time. It is time when I can make important phone calls without major interruptions or respond to an important email or (heaven-forbid) take a nap myself. So now we are trying something a bit different. Some days we go out and do something fun after James gets off the bus (go to the playground, go see Mr. RAY) then the next day I let the twins know that today will be a resting day and Voila! Kayla and James both take a nap! Granted Kayla would nap everyday for at least 2 hours if I would let her but I think that this is better for everybody (at least for now).

Autism Awareness and Zucchini

more on zucchini in a bit...

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. I am so pleased to see all the attention that is being paid to this worthy cause today (and almost everyday, it seems). Though there is still the part of me that is sad that we have to have a day like this at all. I must say that for all the difficulties we have on a daily basis I am blessed and grateful that we have a very mild case. Yes, I do mean we. Though this may seem to be James's affliction we are all affected. We have all had to adjust our way of life to adjust for him and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

People often say 'I give you so much credit' or 'I don't know how you do it'. The answer is simple: Jesus. It is only through His gift of grace and forgiveness that I am where I am today. And I truly believe that without this saving grace I could not be the Wife-Parent-Daughter-Sister-Friend that I am today. I also believe that it is through His amazing plan that I have been connected to and been touched by so many who have taught me (and subsequently us) all the things I didn't know that I would need to know.

And now for the zucchini... John tried zucchini for the first time tonight and the outcome was not favorable! This is the first time in 3 months that he has actually rejected food. He seemed happier to not eat than to eat pulverized zucchini mixed with applesauce, rice cereal and formula. (You know you want some!!!) Ahhh, the joys of parenthood... more to come.

How Fast the Time Goes

So it seems that John is already seven months old. Um,... how did that happen? The twins are going to be 4? Is Dave really going to be 33? YIKES!!!

Well John is officially sitting up on his own. On Thursday (3/27) we spent a lot of time playing on the floor and then that evening he did! He spent about 15 minutes sitting up nice and tall before beginning to teeter from exhaustion. Man did he sleep well that night!

It is spring break right now and the Gaters are a little off kilter right now. Hopefully life will even out a bit once school is back in session.

Saying Goodbye

My Grandpa had a stroke Monday February 25. He was found at 3 pm on the floor with obvious impairments including speech loss and left side immobility. He was admitted to Georgetown Hospital where, after a battery of tests, it was confirmed that he had indeed had a sizable stroke on the right side. The doctors were hopeful because he was gaining small bits of usage on his left side (he could squeeze his hand and raise his left foot). The doctors were thinking that he would be moving to a rehab facility that Friday February 29 (stroke patients are typically moved to rehab on day 5). Unfortunately he failed all swallow tests that they gave him which meant that he had to remain tube fed. When they tried to sit him up for Physical Therapy in the hospital his heart rate spiked up to 160-170. The doctors were very concerned and wouldn't move him until they knew that he would be more stable. The big, big concern was that with stroke victims the sooner the rehab can begin the better their chances are for recovery. Thursday morning, March 6, my aunt reported that Grandpa was unable to squeeze her hand and when she asked him if he knew who she was his eyes rolled back in his head as if he were going unconscious. My aunt also reminded everyone that he had an advanced directive to not keep him alive on life support. So the prayerful decision that needed to be made was when is it time to take Grandpa home? Have we tried enough options to help him recover? How hard would Grandpa want us to try before saying we are done? I went on Friday March 7 to see my grandpa (along with my mom and my sisters and stepfather). We spent 3 days visiting and making wonderful memories with Grandpa.
Tuesday morning, March 11, Grandpa was moved to Hospice Care. After a long weekend of discussions that was the decision that everyone felt would honor Grandpa's wishes. Beginning Sunday evening they moved a bed into his room (at the hospital) so that someone could be at his side all the time. Tuesday night my uncle sat by Grandpa's side during his first night in the Hospice. At some point in the wee hours of the night the nurses let my uncle know that they thought the end was very close. And at about 5 am on March 12 Grandpa passed away. We all had a wonderful time with him those last few days. He made lots of jokes - even in his very limited state. He called names and made jokes and was at times the same old 'Granpaw' we knew and loved. We sang songs and shared stories and had bittersweet goodbyes. My mom and her brother and sister decided to have a small memorial for him at his home in Georgetown on Sunday morning, March 16.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent their love, prayers and condolences. As sad as our loss is, the time with family this past weekend was refreshing and was a great reminder of the power and strength of a loving family. While my grandfather will be missed by so many his legacy will live on for generations. I learned a lot about my Grandpa these past few weeks that is (in my opinion) pretty amazing. My mom and her sister and brother wrote his obituary and I was in awe of some of things that he accomplished in his 80 years on this planet.

Thanks again and hopefully the Gaters will be back to "normal" pretty soon. We are looking forward to celebrating Easter with our church and family this weekend. As I think of my Grandpa's last days and the suffering that he likely endured I am reminded of the Great Suffering that Jesus took upon Himself for our sake and am humbled. May you be reminded of the new life we are afforded in Christ as you prepare for this weekend.

(If you are interested I am going to try to post his obituary as a comment to this post.)

Happy Leap Day, Happy 6 Months, Happy Magic Nuudles

Just a quick note. Today is Leap Day. Is that what they call it? I know that this is a Leap Year but what is the official name for February 29th?... According to Wikipedia I am right! I actually have a friend whose birthday is today... Happy Birthday Jane N!!! What are you now? Like 10!

Today is also John's 6 month marker... WOW that has gone by fast. So let's see what does he do??? He has had 2 teeth for about a month and a half, he can pick up just about anything and stick it in his mouth, he LOVES his Exersaucer and I think I forgot to mention that he started rolling over last week. (It's not like I haven't had about a hundred other things happening too.) He is also eating like crazy. He has been eating solids for 2 months and LOVES his bananas. And through it all he is always laughing and smiling. I will let you all know what his stats are after his doctors appt next week. So stay tuned...

Magic Nuudles, what are those you ask? And didn't you spell it wrong? NO! They are this really cool product that look kind of like packing peanuts but are biodegradable and stick together when they get a little wet. Well Kayla and I had some fun creating with them today and this is her final creation:

Transitions Part 2

For all of you who were wondering how James has faired after a week of the "new plan" I thought that I would send out a followup post. Tuesday and Wednesday were extremely difficult. I don't think that we could have ever been prepared for the struggle that James had. Yes, he had many transition "inspired" meltdowns in the past but those are almost completely gone and when he does have difficulty with a transition or change now he can usually navigate through it with much more ease. I reread my post about Tuesday and I don't think that I was able to capture the extreme level of difficulty that he had and I am still not sure that I could. The frustration and meltdowns continued on Wednesday. His exhaustion worsened and on Thursday he was soooo exhausted that after returning from picking Kayla up from school he just lost it. He burst into tears and couldn't even stand up. I asked him if he wanted to eat lunch (our new normal time) and he just sobbed "No!" So now I am panicking because it is 11:15 and his bus comes some time between 11:50 and noon. What does he want? What do I need to do to make this easier? So I asked him if he wanted to take a nap or eat lunch and go to school. He screamed nap. So I reminded him that if he took a nap that he wouldn't go to school and he just pointed to his room. So I put him to bed without lunch and called the bus company and his school to let them know that he was not coming to school. He took a somewhat short nap but it definitely helped. The of course there was no school Friday because we got about 6 inches of snow!

So Friday night Dave and I went into crisis recovery mode and decided on a new schedule. (I should also mention that Kayla was soooo much less than pleased with this new schedule. She didn't like the idea that she was napping by herself and I think that she was jealous that James was getting one-on-one time with me while she was at school and while he was at school she was having to nap.) Now James gets special Mommy Time in the morning while Kayla is at school. Then after we pick her up we have lunch and hang out until the bus comes. Once he comes home we unpack and read a story and then everyone gets a nap - including John. Kayla loves this new nap time. She is always tired by then (3 pm). James doesn't always nap but he has to rest in his darkened quiet room. And Mommy gets a much needed respite from the crazies!

It means an adjustment on my part and rethinking the way that we used to do certain things. It is also going to require us (Dave and me) to think about when and how we participate in certain events. But I think that this will be the best thing that we can do for everyone in our family.

Transitions

Today marked another big day in the Gater household. James went back to school today (after the 4 day weekend) and joined the 4-year-old class in the afternoon instead of the 3-year-old class that he had been in during the mornings. The decision was difficult and easy to come to at the same time for David and me. Difficult because it is hard to know what will be the best placement for him. Is the time of the class going to be a problem since it means that he definitely won't be napping anymore? Will the fact that we will still drop Kayla off in the morning but then not go to his school as per the usual cause him to melt down? Will the change affect one or more of the rest of us? Easy because we knew he needed a change and that something had to give.

So we chose this solution... for now. And yes, the answer is yes to all the above questions. It has been a very difficult day and James has not been adjusting well at all. Things that were once easy, no-brainer tasks are met with absolute refusal and claims like "I can't!" or "I don't want to!" He is also exhausted. Getting up as early as he does (sometimes as early as 6:00) and then having no nap or rest time has caused a very early bedtime tonight of 7:30.

Hopefully this will all smooth out over time otherwise we may be in for a very long, very cranky year. Please continue to pray for all of us as we adjust. Please also pray that if there is a better placement for James available out there somewhere that we would find out and make a way for him to be there. But for now we are hopeful that the older classmates (most are 4 and some are 5) plus the more advanced Kindergarten readiness objectives in the classroom will offer James the stimulation that he desires. And as usual any suggestions or assistance are greatly appreciated.

John is Teething so We Have to Change His Socks Like 3x a Day

This is what I said to a friend yesterday and it totally cracked her up. So I thought that I would post a little proof. John has been teething (#3) and also has his first ear infection. We started the first round of amoxycillin today. So sad... 5 months old and already needing antibiotics. : (