Autism Awareness and Zucchini

more on zucchini in a bit...

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. I am so pleased to see all the attention that is being paid to this worthy cause today (and almost everyday, it seems). Though there is still the part of me that is sad that we have to have a day like this at all. I must say that for all the difficulties we have on a daily basis I am blessed and grateful that we have a very mild case. Yes, I do mean we. Though this may seem to be James's affliction we are all affected. We have all had to adjust our way of life to adjust for him and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

People often say 'I give you so much credit' or 'I don't know how you do it'. The answer is simple: Jesus. It is only through His gift of grace and forgiveness that I am where I am today. And I truly believe that without this saving grace I could not be the Wife-Parent-Daughter-Sister-Friend that I am today. I also believe that it is through His amazing plan that I have been connected to and been touched by so many who have taught me (and subsequently us) all the things I didn't know that I would need to know.

And now for the zucchini... John tried zucchini for the first time tonight and the outcome was not favorable! This is the first time in 3 months that he has actually rejected food. He seemed happier to not eat than to eat pulverized zucchini mixed with applesauce, rice cereal and formula. (You know you want some!!!) Ahhh, the joys of parenthood... more to come.

How Fast the Time Goes

So it seems that John is already seven months old. Um,... how did that happen? The twins are going to be 4? Is Dave really going to be 33? YIKES!!!

Well John is officially sitting up on his own. On Thursday (3/27) we spent a lot of time playing on the floor and then that evening he did! He spent about 15 minutes sitting up nice and tall before beginning to teeter from exhaustion. Man did he sleep well that night!

It is spring break right now and the Gaters are a little off kilter right now. Hopefully life will even out a bit once school is back in session.

Saying Goodbye

My Grandpa had a stroke Monday February 25. He was found at 3 pm on the floor with obvious impairments including speech loss and left side immobility. He was admitted to Georgetown Hospital where, after a battery of tests, it was confirmed that he had indeed had a sizable stroke on the right side. The doctors were hopeful because he was gaining small bits of usage on his left side (he could squeeze his hand and raise his left foot). The doctors were thinking that he would be moving to a rehab facility that Friday February 29 (stroke patients are typically moved to rehab on day 5). Unfortunately he failed all swallow tests that they gave him which meant that he had to remain tube fed. When they tried to sit him up for Physical Therapy in the hospital his heart rate spiked up to 160-170. The doctors were very concerned and wouldn't move him until they knew that he would be more stable. The big, big concern was that with stroke victims the sooner the rehab can begin the better their chances are for recovery. Thursday morning, March 6, my aunt reported that Grandpa was unable to squeeze her hand and when she asked him if he knew who she was his eyes rolled back in his head as if he were going unconscious. My aunt also reminded everyone that he had an advanced directive to not keep him alive on life support. So the prayerful decision that needed to be made was when is it time to take Grandpa home? Have we tried enough options to help him recover? How hard would Grandpa want us to try before saying we are done? I went on Friday March 7 to see my grandpa (along with my mom and my sisters and stepfather). We spent 3 days visiting and making wonderful memories with Grandpa.
Tuesday morning, March 11, Grandpa was moved to Hospice Care. After a long weekend of discussions that was the decision that everyone felt would honor Grandpa's wishes. Beginning Sunday evening they moved a bed into his room (at the hospital) so that someone could be at his side all the time. Tuesday night my uncle sat by Grandpa's side during his first night in the Hospice. At some point in the wee hours of the night the nurses let my uncle know that they thought the end was very close. And at about 5 am on March 12 Grandpa passed away. We all had a wonderful time with him those last few days. He made lots of jokes - even in his very limited state. He called names and made jokes and was at times the same old 'Granpaw' we knew and loved. We sang songs and shared stories and had bittersweet goodbyes. My mom and her brother and sister decided to have a small memorial for him at his home in Georgetown on Sunday morning, March 16.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent their love, prayers and condolences. As sad as our loss is, the time with family this past weekend was refreshing and was a great reminder of the power and strength of a loving family. While my grandfather will be missed by so many his legacy will live on for generations. I learned a lot about my Grandpa these past few weeks that is (in my opinion) pretty amazing. My mom and her sister and brother wrote his obituary and I was in awe of some of things that he accomplished in his 80 years on this planet.

Thanks again and hopefully the Gaters will be back to "normal" pretty soon. We are looking forward to celebrating Easter with our church and family this weekend. As I think of my Grandpa's last days and the suffering that he likely endured I am reminded of the Great Suffering that Jesus took upon Himself for our sake and am humbled. May you be reminded of the new life we are afforded in Christ as you prepare for this weekend.

(If you are interested I am going to try to post his obituary as a comment to this post.)

Happy Leap Day, Happy 6 Months, Happy Magic Nuudles

Just a quick note. Today is Leap Day. Is that what they call it? I know that this is a Leap Year but what is the official name for February 29th?... According to Wikipedia I am right! I actually have a friend whose birthday is today... Happy Birthday Jane N!!! What are you now? Like 10!

Today is also John's 6 month marker... WOW that has gone by fast. So let's see what does he do??? He has had 2 teeth for about a month and a half, he can pick up just about anything and stick it in his mouth, he LOVES his Exersaucer and I think I forgot to mention that he started rolling over last week. (It's not like I haven't had about a hundred other things happening too.) He is also eating like crazy. He has been eating solids for 2 months and LOVES his bananas. And through it all he is always laughing and smiling. I will let you all know what his stats are after his doctors appt next week. So stay tuned...

Magic Nuudles, what are those you ask? And didn't you spell it wrong? NO! They are this really cool product that look kind of like packing peanuts but are biodegradable and stick together when they get a little wet. Well Kayla and I had some fun creating with them today and this is her final creation:

Transitions Part 2

For all of you who were wondering how James has faired after a week of the "new plan" I thought that I would send out a followup post. Tuesday and Wednesday were extremely difficult. I don't think that we could have ever been prepared for the struggle that James had. Yes, he had many transition "inspired" meltdowns in the past but those are almost completely gone and when he does have difficulty with a transition or change now he can usually navigate through it with much more ease. I reread my post about Tuesday and I don't think that I was able to capture the extreme level of difficulty that he had and I am still not sure that I could. The frustration and meltdowns continued on Wednesday. His exhaustion worsened and on Thursday he was soooo exhausted that after returning from picking Kayla up from school he just lost it. He burst into tears and couldn't even stand up. I asked him if he wanted to eat lunch (our new normal time) and he just sobbed "No!" So now I am panicking because it is 11:15 and his bus comes some time between 11:50 and noon. What does he want? What do I need to do to make this easier? So I asked him if he wanted to take a nap or eat lunch and go to school. He screamed nap. So I reminded him that if he took a nap that he wouldn't go to school and he just pointed to his room. So I put him to bed without lunch and called the bus company and his school to let them know that he was not coming to school. He took a somewhat short nap but it definitely helped. The of course there was no school Friday because we got about 6 inches of snow!

So Friday night Dave and I went into crisis recovery mode and decided on a new schedule. (I should also mention that Kayla was soooo much less than pleased with this new schedule. She didn't like the idea that she was napping by herself and I think that she was jealous that James was getting one-on-one time with me while she was at school and while he was at school she was having to nap.) Now James gets special Mommy Time in the morning while Kayla is at school. Then after we pick her up we have lunch and hang out until the bus comes. Once he comes home we unpack and read a story and then everyone gets a nap - including John. Kayla loves this new nap time. She is always tired by then (3 pm). James doesn't always nap but he has to rest in his darkened quiet room. And Mommy gets a much needed respite from the crazies!

It means an adjustment on my part and rethinking the way that we used to do certain things. It is also going to require us (Dave and me) to think about when and how we participate in certain events. But I think that this will be the best thing that we can do for everyone in our family.

Transitions

Today marked another big day in the Gater household. James went back to school today (after the 4 day weekend) and joined the 4-year-old class in the afternoon instead of the 3-year-old class that he had been in during the mornings. The decision was difficult and easy to come to at the same time for David and me. Difficult because it is hard to know what will be the best placement for him. Is the time of the class going to be a problem since it means that he definitely won't be napping anymore? Will the fact that we will still drop Kayla off in the morning but then not go to his school as per the usual cause him to melt down? Will the change affect one or more of the rest of us? Easy because we knew he needed a change and that something had to give.

So we chose this solution... for now. And yes, the answer is yes to all the above questions. It has been a very difficult day and James has not been adjusting well at all. Things that were once easy, no-brainer tasks are met with absolute refusal and claims like "I can't!" or "I don't want to!" He is also exhausted. Getting up as early as he does (sometimes as early as 6:00) and then having no nap or rest time has caused a very early bedtime tonight of 7:30.

Hopefully this will all smooth out over time otherwise we may be in for a very long, very cranky year. Please continue to pray for all of us as we adjust. Please also pray that if there is a better placement for James available out there somewhere that we would find out and make a way for him to be there. But for now we are hopeful that the older classmates (most are 4 and some are 5) plus the more advanced Kindergarten readiness objectives in the classroom will offer James the stimulation that he desires. And as usual any suggestions or assistance are greatly appreciated.

John is Teething so We Have to Change His Socks Like 3x a Day

This is what I said to a friend yesterday and it totally cracked her up. So I thought that I would post a little proof. John has been teething (#3) and also has his first ear infection. We started the first round of amoxycillin today. So sad... 5 months old and already needing antibiotics. : (