Some recent pictures

I realized that I haven't uploaded pics in awhile so here you go...

Philly Zoo (May 15)...

As I'm sure most of you can imagine our little "Mary Lou" climbed her way to the top of anything she could swing her feet up on top of!

James loved the otters!

It was possibly the only time he was actually engaged in observing the animals...

But for the most part this is what he did all day!

And this is beautiful Olivia! Our friends Nicki and Adam brought her home from Guatemala and she couldn't be any more perfect!

Oh, yeah and then there was John. Could he be a more perfect baby?

He was an absolute angel the entire day!

Memorial Day at the Shore...

The happy 4 year olds!

The happy 9 month old!

The happy grandparents with the grandkids!

Birthday Bash, Gater Style

We have usually (the past 2 years) had the twins' birthday party on Memorial Day Weekend. It worked out because it was usually within a week after their actual birthday and having it on that Monday meant Saturday and Sunday to get the house and the yard ready. But the downside was that Memorial Day usually falls right after the rainy season and our yard was always really wet. (Not to mention all the family and friends who could never make it because they had family vacations that weekend.) So last year we resolved to move their birthday party to a later weekend.

Fast forward to this year... Who would have know that we would have a heat wave the first weekend in June? It's a really good thing that we had planned to have lots of water fun available. That is, of course, until our daughter and a few of her cohorts decided to dump sand from the sand table into the kiddy pool (!) at which point the water turned very dark and all the grossed out parents promptly pulled their kids out of the water. Couldn't have planned it better. Within a few minutes dinner was ready to be served. Whew!

Dinner... Well, in years past we have always grilled burgers and dogs. This always seemed easiest and most convenient. Except, Dave always spent like an hour grilling and sweating and basically not enjoying the party. So we decided that this year I would make something that could be made ahead in the slow cooker. Well, my math must be really bad because I ended up making enough pulled pork and BBQ beans for about 50 people. (There were maybe 18 adults and the kids all ate hot dogs.) I have no idea what happened. I do know however that I had 5 crock pots going and that could have been a mess had we lost power like so many others in NJ!

Everyone seemed to have a really good time. It was so great that Stephanie and Brian made the 3 hour trek with Luke and Shelby. We miss you guys and can't wait for you to move back to Jersey!

What always befuddles me though is present time. So, the twins know they are getting presents (I think they are born with this knowledge or something). When it came time to open I was kind of excited because there weren't so many that I had to actually keep notes on who gave what to whom. (Thanks Stephanie for the great idea of having just a kids party.) But the thing that always gets me is that they open a great present (for example, their new FP3 players which they absolutely love) but they can't really enjoy it yet because coming down the pike is another great gift. Then the madness ends and they are left amongst this haze of wrapping paper shreds, gift bags and clouds of tissue paper and no real idea of what they have been given. I always feel bad because no one knows if the kids actually liked their gifts because there isn't enough time to show genuine appreciation before the next gift is thrust into their hands to be opened. What to do?

We were exhausted when the night ended and are still really exhausted. But one more funny story to share before I am done. That night I was doing a little bit of clean up in the kitchen and Gran was holding John sitting in the kitchen chatting with me. Dave and Grandpop were outside bringing in all the chairs and tables onto the porch. At about 7:30 I realized that I hadn't heard or seen the twins in a LONG time (at least 20 minutes). I was a little concerned as this NEVER happens. I started looking in their bedrooms, "Kayla, James, where are you?" Then the living room and then the play room. This is where I found them. Sitting quietly (and I mean in absolute silence) side by side on the couch in the playroom listening to their "ipods" (as they call them). I have never been so happy in my whole life! (Okay, maybe that is a bit extreme, but you catch my drift.)

Thanks again to everyone who came and made this such a fun day for the Big J and Princess!

Blessings Abound!

Once again I have managed to be so overwhelmed this last month that I have neglected to share with all of you some of the cooler things that have been happening here in NJ.

John has been growing in leaps and bounds. Gosh, I think that it has been 3 weeks since John started crawling! I know that it was a Thursday does that help??? Let me tell you, he is a speed demon. He can cross the room in seconds and not 30 I'm talking like 5! He cracks up over everything - namely his brother and sister. A few days later he pulled himself up to standing. And you can see when he stands, the way he moves his feet, that he will be walking any day now! (A little history lesson here: Kayla walked at 9 1/2 months and James at 10 months. So given that John has pretty much developed in the same ways that they have I am guessing any day now John will just stand up and walk across the room!) Oh, and again in true Gater fashion John has gotten two more teeth (yes, at the same time).

Kayla must have mountain goat or monkey blood or something. Why? you ask. Well, because that child likes to climb on or hang from any and everything. Her goal seems to be to freak me out at every turn. This past weekend we went to the Shore for Memorial Day. Monday morning we took the kids to the playground at Sunset Park where they have a 10 or 12 foot rock wall for kids. I saw it and thought Kayla would love it. Then Dave tells me that he watched her do it already. So he climbs up the other side after James and I encourage Kayla to climb up to the top where her Daddy was standing. Well, not only did she not need any encouragement, she didn't need any help. She flew up that wall like she had been up that wall a hundred times.

James, James, James... where to start. His move to the 4 year old class back in February has been great for him. Being home "by himself" (John naps almost the entire time Kayla is at school) has allowed him to have quieter time to work on fine motor skills and play computer learning games that have challenged him in other ways. But something else has happened that is amazing. (Well, this is less about James and more for James.) At the end of April I had a meeting with his current teacher and case manager. They had one opinion and Dave and I had another. They thought that for the Fall he should stay in the classroom that he is currently in. We felt very strongly that this would be a bad idea. First, it is a class that he has already been "doing" for the past 3 months. Plus, all the kids moving up into the class would still be significantly younger than him (part of the problem and why we moved him out of the 3 year old class). So I called SPAN (Statewide Parent Advocacy Network) and they sent me a packet of information written by the NJ Dept of Education called Autism Program Quality Indicators that gave me a lot of information regarding what a high-quality program should be offering to students with Autism. However, this is not the LAW. So we prayed that they would see how these points will benefit James and his development and that they wouldn't be completely focused on their budget and what the administration might think.

So the meeting wasn't great but it wasn't awful either. They were pretty set on him staying where he is. I did however say some things that made the case manager write in her notebook furiously! I noticed that when I quoted the law they both looked a bit surprised. I was careful to not get defensive. But at the same time I stood our ground. One of the things that left me with a glimmer of hope was that the case manager agreed that she needed to talk to the Home Programming Coordinator who had come out more than two months prior to evaluate James at home.

We saw James's Developmental Pediatrician the last week in April and she had only glowing things to say about James. I mentioned to her the document by the Dept of Ed that talked about the recommended program for preschoolers with Autism. She told me that just after our last visit (Nov '07) the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) published a document saying the exact same things! So that was definitely her recommendation. (Finally the AAP recommendations are paying off for us!) On May 6, James's case manager called to let me know that she had observed James for about 45 minutes the day before and "observed several atypical behaviors." (DUH!) Then she said that the programming coordinator was going to be observing James that day at 2 pm. In short they are revisiting the idea of having James go to the full day class for "High Functioning ASD." Initially they thought that this class would not be a good fit for him because most if not all of the ASD kids in it are lower functioning than James BUT the morning half is an integrated class with other typical 4 year olds. So although we have some reservations (and they are very slight) about him picking up the "bad" behaviors of some of the other ASD kids in the class, the afternoon is primarily 1-on-1 ABA and so James would be working with a teacher in a semi-secluded environment. They can also adjust the "teaching" more specifically to meet James's goals. Plus this means he would be in-district (not bussed to a school as much as 30 minutes away) and still a part of the local community. So after the coordinator observed him his classroom teacher, case manager and program coordinator sat down and discussed what they saw.

The very next day the Autism Programming Coordinator called. She observed James and then spoke with James's classroom teacher and case manager and they are recommending that James go to the full-day high functioning class. It is integrated with other typical 4 year olds in the am and then more intensive instruction with just the ASD kids and 2-3 teachers in the pm. This is good news!!! One of the major pluses of this class is the highly individualized nature of the instruction. So James will have someone always directing him and keeping him focused so that he is less likely to be idle. (Idle time for James leads to excessive mouthing of his hands and other objects, babbling and baby talk, or visual and verbal self-stimulating, to name a few.)

The following week the coordinator came over to discuss the goals to be included in James's IEP for the Fall. I was expecting her to talk about things like holding a pencil and cutting with scissors. Instead she showed up with a print out of the curriculum goals for the combined K/1st grade Autistic class. She said that it didn't make sense, given James's academic level, to confine him to age appropriate goals.

Fast forward to today, the coordinator, Cindy, was here this morning to work with me and James. One of the first things that he did was begin reading to her. About half way through the story she said, "We will definitely have to include him in the K/1 class in the Fall." Huh? She repeated herself and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. So during the time of the day that makes me the most nervous (when the only students in his classroom will be the other ASD kids with potentially negative things fro James to pick up) occasionally James will be pulled out and included into the K/1 class!!! Can I get an AMEN?!?!

Basically our fears and stresses continue to be taken away. It's about time! There are other things to share like the potty training that Cindy wants to start soon and the sensory diet that she can't believe James doesn't already have. Ahhhh, I have actually felt the weight lifting off my shoulders recently and I have to admit that it feels good.

I will try to post some pics soon. Especially since Dave got some really great ones down the Shore.

Lessons From My Lemons and other News

I wanted to let you all know that I have embarked upon another writing project at: www.lessonsfrommylemons.blogspot.com. I won't spend much space telling you about it except to say that Super Mom will remain about the Minis whereas the new blog will be from my perspective and more about things that I experience.

In other news, I learned that Blogarithm was pretty much sucking not doing its job and folks were getting update emails for at least a day after I updated. Sooo, I have found another service that will do essentially the same thing. It is called Feedburner and I have placed on both blogs a link to get the updates delivered directly to your inbox.

Happy Reading!

So much has happened

AAAAHHHHH!

Where has the time gone? I turned around and it has been almost a month since I posted. So let's see what has happened in the last 4 weeks (in no particular order):

• John went from 2 teeth to 6 teeth in about 2 weeks;
• Dave and I went to the DAN! Conference and learned an awful lot of amazing info;
• James has almost completely stopped napping (let's pause for a moment of silence...);

I know, you're wondering what about Kayla??? What did she do this past month? Well, really there isn't much she isn't doing. She is our amazing blessing. She is so much more mature than her age. (Is that right? Dad, help me out with the grammar here.) She loves school and her teachers can't say enough about how wonderful she is. She wants very badly to read like her big brother and tries hard every day to read just a little more. She loves playing with John. She is so good at watching out for him and just the sight of her makes him light up like the Fourth of July fireworks.

In other news, John's first two teeth (on the bottom) came quite awhile ago. Like the twins they came pretty close together. The twins also got the rest of their teeth in pairs. This was great because they would teethe really bad for a few days and then have two more teeth. Well, John started getting really cranky and was drooling like a leaky faucet. Then they started coming. Now he has 4 teeth on the bottom and 2 on top and once again he is as happy as can be again!

A couple of weeks ago Dave and I spent 2 days straight up to our eyeballs in seminars and workshops about biomedical intervention designed to treat Autism. WOW is all I can say. We were completely unprepared for how much info it would be. But it really made an impression on both of us. We not only learned about the typical things you might expect (GFCF diets, vitamins and supplements) but also about toxins and other things that may have contaminated our possibly already compromised kiddos. We also learned about working to prevent harm to our next kiddos. Sooooo, we came home and threw out all of our Teflon coated pans, food storage containers, plastic plates and cups. In their place we purchased new Rubbermaid containers, started using our cast iron pots and pans more often and invested in Corelle plates and cups for the kiddos.

Yes, I know some of you don't completely understand the sadness I am feeling about James's abandonment of naps but I coveted that time when the twins (and sometimes John, too) would nap and the house would be quiet and the time would be mine. I am not trying to sound selfish but I REALLY need that time. It is time when I can make important phone calls without major interruptions or respond to an important email or (heaven-forbid) take a nap myself. So now we are trying something a bit different. Some days we go out and do something fun after James gets off the bus (go to the playground, go see Mr. RAY) then the next day I let the twins know that today will be a resting day and Voila! Kayla and James both take a nap! Granted Kayla would nap everyday for at least 2 hours if I would let her but I think that this is better for everybody (at least for now).

Autism Awareness and Zucchini

more on zucchini in a bit...

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. I am so pleased to see all the attention that is being paid to this worthy cause today (and almost everyday, it seems). Though there is still the part of me that is sad that we have to have a day like this at all. I must say that for all the difficulties we have on a daily basis I am blessed and grateful that we have a very mild case. Yes, I do mean we. Though this may seem to be James's affliction we are all affected. We have all had to adjust our way of life to adjust for him and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

People often say 'I give you so much credit' or 'I don't know how you do it'. The answer is simple: Jesus. It is only through His gift of grace and forgiveness that I am where I am today. And I truly believe that without this saving grace I could not be the Wife-Parent-Daughter-Sister-Friend that I am today. I also believe that it is through His amazing plan that I have been connected to and been touched by so many who have taught me (and subsequently us) all the things I didn't know that I would need to know.

And now for the zucchini... John tried zucchini for the first time tonight and the outcome was not favorable! This is the first time in 3 months that he has actually rejected food. He seemed happier to not eat than to eat pulverized zucchini mixed with applesauce, rice cereal and formula. (You know you want some!!!) Ahhh, the joys of parenthood... more to come.

How Fast the Time Goes

So it seems that John is already seven months old. Um,... how did that happen? The twins are going to be 4? Is Dave really going to be 33? YIKES!!!

Well John is officially sitting up on his own. On Thursday (3/27) we spent a lot of time playing on the floor and then that evening he did! He spent about 15 minutes sitting up nice and tall before beginning to teeter from exhaustion. Man did he sleep well that night!

It is spring break right now and the Gaters are a little off kilter right now. Hopefully life will even out a bit once school is back in session.