Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Wacky Wednesday
Friday, October 31, 2008
Light the Night
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Walking on Sunshine
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Some recent pictures
James loved the otters!
It was possibly the only time he was actually engaged in observing the animals...
But for the most part this is what he did all day!
And this is beautiful Olivia! Our friends Nicki and Adam brought her home from Guatemala and she couldn't be any more perfect!
Oh, yeah and then there was John. Could he be a more perfect baby?
He was an absolute angel the entire day!
The happy 4 year olds!
The happy 9 month old!
The happy grandparents with the grandkids!
Monday, June 9, 2008
Birthday Bash, Gater Style
Fast forward to this year... Who would have know that we would have a heat wave the first weekend in June? It's a really good thing that we had planned to have lots of water fun available. That is, of course, until our daughter and a few of her cohorts decided to dump sand from the sand table into the kiddy pool (!) at which point the water turned very dark and all the
Dinner... Well, in years past we have always grilled burgers and dogs. This always seemed easiest and most convenient. Except, Dave always spent like an hour grilling and sweating and basically not enjoying the party. So we decided that this year I would make something that could be made ahead in the slow cooker. Well, my math must be really bad because I ended up making enough pulled pork and BBQ beans for about 50 people. (There were maybe 18 adults and the kids all ate hot dogs.) I have no idea what happened. I do know however that I had 5 crock pots going and that could have been a mess had we lost power like so many others in NJ!
Everyone seemed to have a really good time. It was so great that Stephanie and Brian made the 3 hour trek with Luke and Shelby. We miss you guys and can't wait for you to move back to Jersey!
What always befuddles me though is present time. So, the twins know they are getting presents (I think they are born with this knowledge or something). When it came time to open I was kind of excited because there weren't so many that I had to actually keep notes on who gave what to whom. (Thanks Stephanie for the great idea of having just a kids party.) But the thing that always gets me is that they open a great present (for example, their new FP3 players which they absolutely love) but they can't really enjoy it yet because coming down the pike is another great gift. Then the madness ends and they are left amongst this haze of wrapping paper shreds, gift bags and clouds of tissue paper and no real idea of what they have been given. I always feel bad because no one knows if the kids actually liked their gifts because there isn't enough time to show genuine appreciation before the next gift is thrust into their hands to be opened. What to do?
We were exhausted when the night ended and are still really exhausted. But one more funny story to share before I am done. That night I was doing a little bit of clean up in the kitchen and Gran was holding John sitting in the kitchen chatting with me. Dave and Grandpop were outside bringing in all the chairs and tables onto the porch. At about 7:30 I realized that I hadn't heard or seen the twins in a LONG time (at least 20 minutes). I was a little concerned as this NEVER happens. I started looking in their bedrooms, "Kayla, James, where are you?" Then the living room and then the play room. This is where I found them. Sitting quietly (and I mean in absolute silence) side by side on the couch in the playroom listening to their "ipods" (as they call them). I have never been so happy in my whole life! (Okay, maybe that is a bit extreme, but you catch my drift.)
Thanks again to everyone who came and made this such a fun day for the Big J and Princess!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Blessings Abound!
John has been growing in leaps and bounds. Gosh, I think that it has been 3 weeks since John started crawling! I know that it was a Thursday does that help??? Let me tell you, he is a speed demon. He can cross the room in seconds and not 30 I'm talking like 5! He cracks up over everything - namely his brother and sister. A few days later he pulled himself up to standing. And you can see when he stands, the way he moves his feet, that he will be walking any day now! (A little history lesson here: Kayla walked at 9 1/2 months and James at 10 months. So given that John has pretty much developed in the same ways that they have I am guessing any day now John will just stand up and walk across the room!) Oh, and again in true Gater fashion John has gotten two more teeth (yes, at the same time).
Kayla must have mountain goat or monkey blood or something. Why? you ask. Well, because that child likes to climb on or hang from any and everything. Her goal seems to be to freak me out at every turn. This past weekend we went to the Shore for Memorial Day. Monday morning we took the kids to the playground at Sunset Park where they have a 10 or 12 foot rock wall for kids. I saw it and thought Kayla would love it. Then Dave tells me that he watched her do it already. So he climbs up the other side after James and I encourage Kayla to climb up to the top where her Daddy was standing. Well, not only did she not need any encouragement, she didn't need any help. She flew up that wall like she had been up that wall a hundred times.
James, James, James... where to start. His move to the 4 year old class back in February has been great for him. Being home "by himself" (John naps almost the entire time Kayla is at school) has allowed him to have quieter time to work on fine motor skills and play computer learning games that have challenged him in other ways. But something else has happened that is amazing. (Well, this is less about James and more for James.) At the end of April I had a meeting with his current teacher and case manager. They had one opinion and Dave and I had another. They thought that for the Fall he should stay in the classroom that he is currently in. We felt very strongly that this would be a bad idea. First, it is a class that he has already been "doing" for the past 3 months. Plus, all the kids moving up into the class would still be significantly younger than him (part of the problem and why we moved him out of the 3 year old class). So I called SPAN (Statewide Parent Advocacy Network) and they sent me a packet of information written by the NJ Dept of Education called Autism Program Quality Indicators that gave me a lot of information regarding what a high-quality program should be offering to students with Autism. However, this is not the LAW. So we prayed that they would see how these points will benefit James and his development and that they wouldn't be completely focused on their budget and what the administration might think.
So the meeting wasn't great but it wasn't awful either. They were pretty set on him staying where he is. I did however say some things that made the case manager write in her notebook furiously! I noticed that when I quoted the law they both looked a bit surprised. I was careful to not get defensive. But at the same time I stood our ground. One of the things that left me with a glimmer of hope was that the case manager agreed that she needed to talk to the Home Programming Coordinator who had come out more than two months prior to evaluate James at home.
We saw James's Developmental Pediatrician the last week in April and she had only glowing things to say about James. I mentioned to her the document by the Dept of Ed that talked about the recommended program for preschoolers with Autism. She told me that just after our last visit (Nov '07) the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) published a document saying the exact same things! So that was definitely her recommendation. (Finally the AAP recommendations are paying off for us!) On May 6, James's case manager called to let me know that she had observed James for about 45 minutes the day before and "observed several atypical behaviors." (DUH!) Then she said that the programming coordinator was going to be observing James that day at 2 pm. In short they are revisiting the idea of having James go to the full day class for "High Functioning ASD." Initially they thought that this class would not be a good fit for him because most if not all of the ASD kids in it are lower functioning than James BUT the morning half is an integrated class with other typical 4 year olds. So although we have some reservations (and they are very slight) about him picking up the "bad" behaviors of some of the other ASD kids in the class, the afternoon is primarily 1-on-1 ABA and so James would be working with a teacher in a semi-secluded environment. They can also adjust the "teaching" more specifically to meet James's goals. Plus this means he would be in-district (not bussed to a school as much as 30 minutes away) and still a part of the local community. So after the coordinator observed him his classroom teacher, case manager and program coordinator sat down and discussed what they saw.
The very next day the Autism Programming Coordinator called. She observed James and then spoke with James's classroom teacher and case manager and they are recommending that James go to the full-day high functioning class. It is integrated with other typical 4 year olds in the am and then more intensive instruction with just the ASD kids and 2-3 teachers in the pm. This is good news!!! One of the major pluses of this class is the highly individualized nature of the instruction. So James will have someone always directing him and keeping him focused so that he is less likely to be idle. (Idle time for James leads to excessive mouthing of his hands and other objects, babbling and baby talk, or visual and verbal self-stimulating, to name a few.)
The following week the coordinator came over to discuss the goals to be included in James's IEP for the Fall. I was expecting her to talk about things like holding a pencil and cutting with scissors. Instead she showed up with a print out of the curriculum goals for the combined K/1st grade Autistic class. She said that it didn't make sense, given James's academic level, to confine him to age appropriate goals.
Fast forward to today, the coordinator, Cindy, was here this morning to work with me and James. One of the first things that he did was begin reading to her. About half way through the story she said, "We will definitely have to include him in the K/1 class in the Fall." Huh? She repeated herself and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. So during the time of the day that makes me the most nervous (when the only students in his classroom will be the other ASD kids with potentially negative things fro James to pick up) occasionally James will be pulled out and included into the K/1 class!!! Can I get an AMEN?!?!
Basically our fears and stresses continue to be taken away. It's about time! There are other things to share like the potty training that Cindy wants to start soon and the sensory diet that she can't believe James doesn't already have. Ahhhh, I have actually felt the weight lifting off my shoulders recently and I have to admit that it feels good.
I will try to post some pics soon. Especially since Dave got some really great ones down the Shore.
Monday, April 21, 2008
So much has happened
Where has the time gone? I turned around and it has been almost a month since I posted. So let's see what has happened in the last 4 weeks (in no particular order):
- John went from 2 teeth to 6 teeth in about 2 weeks;
- Dave and I went to the DAN! Conference and learned an awful lot of amazing info;
- James has almost completely stopped napping (let's pause for a moment of silence...);
I know, you're wondering what about Kayla??? What did she do this past month? Well, really there isn't much she isn't doing. She is our amazing blessing. She is so much more mature than her age. (Is that right? Dad, help me out with the grammar here.) She loves school and her teachers can't say enough about how wonderful she is. She wants very badly to read like her big brother and tries hard every day to read just a little more. She loves playing with John. She is so good at watching out for him and just the sight of her makes him light up like the Fourth of July fireworks.
In other news, John's first two teeth (on the bottom) came quite awhile ago. Like the twins they came pretty close together. The twins also got the rest of their teeth in pairs. This was great because they would teethe really bad for a few days and then have two more teeth. Well, John started getting really cranky and was drooling like a leaky faucet. Then they started coming. Now he has 4 teeth on the bottom and 2 on top and once again he is as happy as can be again!
A couple of weeks ago Dave and I spent 2 days straight up to our eyeballs in seminars and workshops about biomedical intervention designed to treat Autism. WOW is all I can say. We were completely unprepared for how much info it would be. But it really made an impression on both of us. We not only learned about the typical things you might expect (GFCF diets, vitamins and supplements) but also about toxins and other things that may have contaminated our possibly already compromised kiddos. We also learned about working to prevent harm to our next kiddos. Sooooo, we came home and threw out all of our Teflon coated pans, food storage containers, plastic plates and cups. In their place we purchased new Rubbermaid containers, started using our cast iron pots and pans more often and invested in Corelle plates and cups for the kiddos.
Yes, I know some of you don't completely understand the sadness I am feeling about James's abandonment of naps but I coveted that time when the twins (and sometimes John, too) would nap and the house would be quiet and the time would be mine. I am not trying to sound selfish but I REALLY need that time. It is time when I can make important phone calls without major interruptions or respond to an important email or (heaven-forbid) take a nap myself. So now we are trying something a bit different. Some days we go out and do something fun after James gets off the bus (go to the playground, go see Mr. RAY) then the next day I let the twins know that today will be a resting day and Voila! Kayla and James both take a nap! Granted Kayla would nap everyday for at least 2 hours if I would let her but I think that this is better for everybody (at least for now).
Saturday, March 29, 2008
How Fast the Time Goes
Well John is officially sitting up on his own. On Thursday (3/27) we spent a lot of time playing on the floor and then that evening he did! He spent about 15 minutes sitting up nice and tall before beginning to teeter from exhaustion. Man did he sleep well that night!
It is spring break right now and the Gaters are a little off kilter right now. Hopefully life will even out a bit once school is back in session.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Transitions Part 2
So Friday night Dave and I went into crisis recovery mode and decided on a new schedule. (I should also mention that Kayla was soooo much less than pleased with this new schedule. She didn't like the idea that she was napping by herself and I think that she was jealous that James was getting one-on-one time with me while she was at school and while he was at school she was having to nap.) Now James gets special Mommy Time in the morning while Kayla is at school. Then after we pick her up we have lunch and hang out until the bus comes. Once he comes home we unpack and read a story and then everyone gets a nap - including John. Kayla loves this new nap time. She is always tired by then (3 pm). James doesn't always nap but he has to rest in his darkened quiet room. And Mommy gets a much needed respite from the crazies!
It means an adjustment on my part and rethinking the way that we used to do certain things. It is also going to require us (Dave and me) to think about when and how we participate in certain events. But I think that this will be the best thing that we can do for everyone in our family.


Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Transitions
So we chose this solution... for now. And yes, the answer is yes to all the above questions. It has been a very difficult day and James has not been adjusting well at all. Things that were once easy, no-brainer tasks are met with absolute refusal and claims like "I can't!" or "I don't want to!" He is also exhausted. Getting up as early as he does (sometimes as early as 6:00) and then having no nap or rest time has caused a very early bedtime tonight of 7:30.
Hopefully this will all smooth out over time otherwise we may be in for a very long, very cranky year. Please continue to pray for all of us as we adjust. Please also pray that if there is a better placement for James available out there somewhere that we would find out and make a way for him to be there. But for now we are hopeful that the older classmates (most are 4 and some are 5) plus the more advanced Kindergarten readiness objectives in the classroom will offer James the stimulation that he desires. And as usual any suggestions or assistance are greatly appreciated.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
James's Aunt Day



Sunday, December 30, 2007
Big Boy Bed
We gave them their new bedding on Christmas morning and they were (to our surprise) very excited. I say that we were surprised because James is very attached to his Green Blanket (kinda Linus-like). But he was definitely excited to have these new sheet and comforter. So the next morning we took apart his crib and moved it to the attic and brought out his new Big Boy Bed (identical to Kayla's - thank you Wagners). He watched David and me set it all up and was very excited to have it.
At nap time that day he came out of his room about a dozen or so times and we were worried that he might not nap ever again. But then that night he only came out of his room 2 or 3 times and then slept really well. The next day my mom was going to be here with the twins during nap time and I was certain that he would take advantage of that but she said that he only came out once. Okay, this might actually work.
And it has!!! He basically stays in his bed once we put him down for a nap or nighttime. He loves it and we are so proud. I have heard so many stories of autistic or spd kids who sleep in their cribs till they max out the weight limitations. We thought that this might be James. He loved his crib so much and loved to get in it. But we have made a few other changes too (new night light because the old one was shining very brightly right in his eyes) and he go down without a fight and stays in bed. (Still can't say that this is completely true of Kayla yet.) I will keep ou posted...
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Uncharted Waters
After we have tried the shots for a couple of months she wants us to put James on a gluten free-casein free-soy free diet! He is already casein free and I am super scared about this one because I know that most of the work and adjustment is going to be on our (mine and David's) part. Learning how to cook and shop all over again. But again if it means steps forward for James I am willing and getting ready!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
2nd Grade
Some of the more interesting/exciting things that came out of this meeting:
She wants to leave James's diagnosis as Autism Spectrum Disorder for now. I asked her about the possibility of Aspergers Syndrome (AS - the very high end of the spectrum) and she hesitates to give that diagnosis so young for a bunch of reasons. She isn't ruling it out completely yet but said that when he is a bit older she can administer some IQ tests that will help her get a better determination. My understanding is that kids with AS don't generally have language loss (which James had) and usually are on par verbally by age three. They generally just have extreme social delays. So we will see.
James is NOT hyperlexic. I know, I know... I have been hard core thinking this but I learned something very interesting yesterday in this area. Hyperlexics don't read with or for comprehension. They are simply decoding symbols (ie letters and numbers) and producing a string of words. Which leads me to my next point...
James is performing academically (in her opinion) at a 2nd grade level. Yes, you read that correctly. James read her a short story which was just printed words on a page. Then she asked him some basic questions which required some abstract thinking. (The story was a bout a yellow cat and what he likes and dislikes. So being able to answer questions about someone/thing that isn't actually there requires abstract thinking.) Then she asked him to do some basic addition and subtraction through a verbal word problem and he got that right too. (If mommy gives you a cookie and I give you a cookie, how many cookies will you have? Then if daddy gives you another cookie, how many cookies will you have? If you eat one of the cookies haw many will you have? etc.) So I of course said what are you recommendations for harnessing this power for good and not evil? ( a phrase I use a lot when referring to James) She said we could either have him moved up to the second grade where he would be on par academically with his peers but very socially delayed or we could amend his IEP to include one on one instruction in reading and writing. Oh, I forgot to mention that he is writing even more now. He demonstrated this for her by writing MOMMMY and JAMeS (his spelling choices).
So once I have something in writing from her we are going to go into the school and make some serious changes. They probably aren't going to like this but they are required to give him and appropriate education and I think that this is what we need to do. She mentioned some other things but over ll she was very pleased with the gains he has made in the last year and is encouraged for his future.